Welcome to Wishaw Bowling Club.

  “The Ladies Pavilion”

 

The ladies of Wishaw so I am told

The name of the club were keen to uphold

So the men couldn’t say that letting them in

Committed the original cardinal sin

That the ladies, the club had greatly improved

Most of the men would generally approve

Except for the changing room Saturday night

You couldnae avoid it try as you might

You couldnae bend doon to tie your shoelace

When someone’s behind was right in your face

Cried President Adam “this’ll no dae!

Its bowls that we all came down here to play”

This house down through the ages designed

By men with never a woman in mind

They haven’t a place for their bowls and their shoes

And we’re woefully lacking in places cried “loos”

You Men’ll agree its a crying shame

We’ll Hae to buy them a place of their ain

At that the treasurer started to greet

Cried Wee Adam “don’t worry we’ll build it dammed cheap”

“I ken there’s a hut that’s going for a song

Its 14 feet wide and 24 long

And after we’ve bought it with men that are willing

Putting it up will no cost us a shilling”

It’ll no happen again but it happened that night

The committee agreed the President’s right.

They were up at the Shotts and the hut was half doon

When Adam came in and his face was a frown

Well boys I’ve a story to tell

I’m sure that your going to send me to H...

Well I was standing outside and my mind gave a thought

This is no the hut that we bought

When the cursing and swearing at last had subsided

Said the wee comic, “Man, you’re easily kidded”

So the hut was transported and duly erected

The men all stood back their hard work inspected

Said VP. Keachie “its good I will grant,

But I’m sure its no what the lassies will want”

Like it or no gents here are my views

We should add a veranda,wash hand basins and “loos”

We’ll As well be hung for a sheep as a lamb

Let’s ask Jimmy Hall to draw up a right plan

Now the result is a pavilion for all to admire

FOR THE BEST LADIES CLUB IN THE WHOLE OF THE SHIRE

                                       (c) Reproduced by the kind permission of Mr Barclay Anderson                                                              Return.